

Most of the names I use to make fun of corny sounding counties are lifted from a column I wrote in 2001, declaring Bush's victory over Gore a "hicktory," since he won the rustics and lost the slickers. Yoakum County, Texas, was named for Henderson King Yoakum, a very white Texas historian who was a lawyer and has no Native American ancestry, near as I can tell. Their pricks are the same length."īecause I hate Native Americans, apparently? What my friend meant to say, and what he should have said, is that the QUILL of the North American porcupine is longer than the QUILL of the South American porcupine. We are scientists, not diplomats, and we have been closeted with porcupines for the last 20 years. "Madam, I must apologize for my colleague. The second scientist taps her on the shoulder.
GENE WEINGARTEN DOGGEREL CHATOLOGY FULL
The scientist to her left says, "Well, the prick of the North American porcupine is a full half inch longer than the prick of the South American porcupine." She says: "I've always wondered what the difference is between the North American and South American porcupines." She is doing her best to make conversation with these two rather dull scientists. At the awards ceremony in Stockholm, they were seated on either side of an older woman, a grand dame of Swedish society. These two scientists win the Nobel Prize for their lifetime work with North American and South American porcupines they'd found some promising anti-cancer leads. The objectionable but contextually defensible answer I just gave reminds me of one of my favorite jokes. The derivation has nothing to do with hebes or kikes or sheenies or anything. So, um, if you are not registered to vote, please do it, sooner rather than later. The president of the United States retweeted it. This press conference might literally kill people. How nutty was this? How easy was it to identify as misinformed, wildly biased, and literally insane? One of the principal doctors who spoke was this lady. Their comments on it were insane many saw it as proof of a national conspiracy They are out there, in stunning numbers, and nothing will persuade them of the truth about this man. But that's not the point: Trump's idiot followers consumed it voraciously. The video of the event was viewed tens of thousands of times across many platforms and it was amplified a millionfold because it was re-tweeted by, yeah, President Trump, even though it was not only obviously false but also wildly irresponsible.īy now it's been scrubbed from Facebook, youtube and other public forums. The doctors identified themselves as "America's Frontline Doctors," though they are clearly nut jobs, or worse.

(Yes, there is a blatant internal inconsistency - if the virus ain't dangerous, how can spreading it hurt Trump?) The press conference was sponsored by. A group of "doctors" (some of whom ARE doctors) gave a news conference in front of the Supreme Court, for some reason, in which they assured America that you don't need to wear masks, that hodroxycloroquine is a cure for the virus, and that that fact is being withheld from the American public, presumably to intensify the pandemic in order to hurt Donald Trump's reelection chances.

The thing that happened yesterday was terrifying. For those of who feel some sense of security that the disaster in the White House is going to be mightily expunged in three months' time, recalibrate your fear.
